Ponderings
by DarkGoddess85
Summary: What goes on in her mind? No one knows but herself.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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**The Disappearing Journal Trick**

**By: DarkGoddess**

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Chapter One: It's My Party**Friday September 20, 1991 

Well today is my birthday!

Yeah! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me!

But I think I got jacked when it came to presents. All I got was this lousy journal with a note from my parents saying "use it well."

Use it well? Who in the hell do they think they are? Albus Dumbledore?

Don't get me wrong, I have great respect for the old headmaster. I mean who wouldn't? Even You-Know-Who was afraid of Dumbledore. But he is just a little on the eccentric side.

Back to the topic of my special day. Well, not that special actually. My day got rained on when it was announced that Harry Potter was going to be seeker for the Gryffindor team.

Since when do they allow first years on the team? I think old Minnie, as I like to call her, has gone soft in her old age. The whole school was a buzz with the latest news of our illustrious hero.

Who cares that Harry Potter is the youngest seeker in the century? Well certainty not me. With the way some of the girls at Hogwarts are going on, you would think they had just heard Gilderoy Lockhart was having a book signing at the school.

All I hear about is girls dreaming of their 'futures' with him. I mean sure he is a cute little bugger, with his gorgeous green eyes, but he is eleven years old for Merlin's sake. One of these days he will make a wonderful heart throb. I can just imagine it. Girls throwing themselves at his feet, just to be breathed on by 'The Harry Potter'. He is already on his way, and he has no clue. The other day I caught my roommate, Nadia, talking about what she would like to do to the poor boy if she were ever alone with him.

Can you say pedophile? I know I can.

What possibly could she gain from trying to 'have her way with him' as she puts it? I mean can he even get it up at eleven? I know my cousin Draco likes to think he can. The last time I visited Malfoy Manor the little shit had the balls to hit on me. ME?

Hello? Incest! I know that the Blacks aren't against that type of thing. Mom once told me if she hadn't of married dad, she would have been stuck with Sirius Black. Can you imagine? Mom would have been married to the most infamous prisoner in Azkaban. I'm sorry to say I'm related to such a vile man.

Mom had a hard time believing that he actually did that to the Potters, but I have to base my opinions on the facts. And the facts state he is a guilty man.

Look at me, going off topic. That's what I hate about writing in these things. But personally, I think Cousin Draco harbors a secret fascination with The-Boy-Who-Lived. He is always staring at him. If I were Mr. Potter, I would be thoroughly freaked out.

You know what I just realized. I have been ranting and raving in this thing for a whole page. If anyone ever reads this, which I hope to God they don't, they won't know who is writing this wonderful dribble.

Let me start over.

Hi my wonderful readers! First I would like to say, shame on you for reading someone's personal thoughts, especially mine.

Let me introduce myself, my name is Nymphadora Tonks. Call me Tonks. Just Tonks. You ever call me anything else and it will be the last thing you ever say. I think my mom had a little too much pain potions when she named me, and my dad must have been too whipped to disagree. Poor old sod. Wait a minute, poor me!

Anyway, I live with my mom Andromeda and my father Ted. My mom, as you already know, was a member of 'The Most Noble and Ancient House of Black.' She was disowned when she married my dad, a muggle born. Messed up isn't it? I'm glad my mom isn't like the rest of them. They all support He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. What is it with this guy and having such a long name. Couldn't we call him Bob or Martin. Who would be afraid of a name like that?

Back to my mom. At least she has a heart, unlike others in her family. Well since my dad had a love for muggle objects, I grew up in a house that incorporated the best of the muggle and the wizarding worlds. I don't know how some people can live without the Tele. One of these days I'm going to make a fortune by making Teles for wizards.

Man! I really need to learn to keep on subject. I'll put it on my to do list. Speaking of to do lists, I need to write mine down.

**Things I (Tonks) Need To Do:**

**Play prank on Potter kid for ruining my birthday (thunder stealer)**

**Gain the balls to ask Charlie out (I could eat him up)**

**Find a way to stop Cousin Draco from hitting on me (EWWW!)**

**Think of other things to put on my To Do List**

Now where was I? Oh yeah, I was talking about me. My favorite subject. I'm just kidding.

Okay. I'm a seventh year Ravenclaw.

Whoo hoo!

Go big blue!

Can you tell I'm faking the enthusiasm?

It's not that I don't have a thirst for knowledge. I do, but these people always find answers in books. Where's the fun in that? I prefer to get knee deep in the shit and then learn how to get out of it. Who cares if you smell afterwards?

My two roommates are the gossip queens of Hogwarts. When they don't have their nose in a book, they gossip. I don't know how they find the time. I find myself sick of listening to their newest obsession, Harry Potter. I swear I want to run up to the kid and strangle him just so I wouldn't have to listen about him.

This year Nadia and Hazel took on apprentices to take over the roles as 'The Gossip Queens.' They are a couple of Gryffindor first years. I think their names are Patti and Tulip, or something like that. Every time I entered my room I hear them giggle. Did I mention how I detest giggling?

Damn it! I got off track again. I'm what people like to call an outcast. Let people think what they want. I prefer to hang with an older crowd, like my best friend Charlie Weasley.(Sigh) Charlie was a year ahead of me and in Gryffindor. We always had a knack of getting in trouble together.

Okay, I admit it. We liked to cause havoc. Since he's been gone I have been a little lacking in the fun meter. I have taking to giving tips to his younger brothers Fred and George. I even showed them some of the secret passageways. I know, I'm a bad example. Sue me.

If you didn't already know, I have a slight infatuation with my best friend. Pathetic, I know. It doesn't help that he sees me as 'one of the boys.' Is it so hard to tell I'm of the female sex? How big do I have to let my boobs grow before he notices? I could see me with these mountains for breast, poking Charlie in the eye, and he still would think I was a guy, a fat guy, but a guy.

It is awfully hard to have a serious relationship when you are a metamorphamagus. For those of you that don't know, this is a rare gift. Everyone tells me how lucky I am. Yeah right?

Do most people get asked on dates by guys wanting to go out with their 'fantasies?' It's embarrassing to be on a date and then said date pulls out a picture and ask you to look like that.

What's wrong with me?

I'm no supermodel, but I'm not ugly.

Life sucks. Guys suck more.

Did you know that if you are a metamorphamagus you are naturally clumsy?

Me either. It is one of flaws of this 'gift.' People always get a kick out of 'good old Tonks.' Because of this curse, I'm not known to be the best at sports. At least sports that require hand-eye coordination.

I have a particular fondness of rock climbing and yoga. They help keep my body in shape. I'm hoping to be an Auror one day. I'll most likely get in due to my 'special talents' as they like to call it.

I just realized how boring I am. Just talking about my self makes me want to go to sleep.

I think I will.

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Sunday September 21, 1991 

Guess what reader?

I'm really going to try to take this journal serious. Serious for me that is.

Today is a very happy day. I got my revenge on Harry Potter today AND I got a letter from Charlie.

Oh happy day!

I feel as if I could sing.

Note to self: Never sing while room mates are present. They have no taste in music, and have good aim when throwing shoes.

Charlie hasn't written to me since I met part of his family this summer. That was one scary evening, especially when Mrs. Weasley kept on thinking Charlie and I were meant to be married. I have never seen a mother so determined to get rid of one of her sons. The only people I haven't officially met are his younger brother Ron and his dad. I especially have taken a liking to the youngest, Ginny.

I kind of feel sorry for the poor thing. Being the only girl in a family with six brothers.

Now, back to my great day.

At breakfast this morning an eagle owl landed on my plate. Now let me tell you how astonished I was at this. I never get mail except for a customary weekly letter from my parents, and our family owl delivers that. I took the letter and recognized the writing as Charlie's. I almost whooped in joy right in the middle of the Great Hall. Oh would that have been embarrassing. Anyway, I hastily tore in to the letter.

_Tonksie, _

_How's school life treating you? I'm having a great time here Romania. I haven't handled too many dragons yet. I can't wait though. Don't tell mum, but I've already had my first injury. It was great. Any way I have to go, my boss is calling. Write back soon. Miss you._

_Your mate,_

_Charlie_

I know it's not poetry or a love letter, but it's progress. I hate it when people call me Tonksie. Can't anyone understand I want to be called Tonks?

But for Charlie, I'll put up with it.

I sure hope he doesn't get injured around those dragons. I know Mrs. Weasley almost had a heart attack when she heard what Charlie planned on doing for the rest of his life. I know there was a row or two, but she finally relented. After all, if Charlie is happy, who is to complain.

I almost forgot about to tell you about the other thing that made my day perfect. I know pranking little firsties is childish, but I just couldn't help it.

Since Mr. Potter rained on my parade, I decided to rain on his.

The first thing I did was enlist Peeves for help. You may be wondering how I pulled that off? Let's just say I have helped Peeves annoy Filch a time or two, so he owes me.

So I got Peeves to drop water balloons over his head on the way to potions.

I know I'm evil. I can just picture the look on the slimy git's face when Harry walks into the classroom soaking wet; pure rage.

It may seem as if I hate Harry Potter.

But I don't.

I just want to get even for him ruining my day, by ruining his. There was no harm done.

The best part was I got a front row seat as he got drenched in water. Let's just say the look on his face as ice cold water dropped on top of his head was priceless. This is something I will always remember.

I need to go, homework awaits. Joy! (Note the sarcasm.)

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An: So, what do you think. Good, bad, hate it, love it, has potential? Let me know. Thanks a bunch.

DarkGoddess


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